Sacred and Secular Perspectives on the Crossroads of Divorce

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Marriage has been consistently under pressure in the eyes of society over the pass couple of years. Are two parents necessary for raising a child? Do we have to be legally married? With divorce rates rising, why should I risk getting married? If I am married and it is come to the point of divorce, how do I handle it? Hopefully today we will be able to discuss and answer these questions.

Especially if children are involved, the impact can be far greater than what either parent expects. Studies have shown "Children are much more likely to face financial hardship, not only in the United States but also in European countries that have more generous social welfare systems than the United States. Children who experience their parents divorce are less likely to graduate from high school, go to college, or graduate from college once they start. They are twice as likely to doubt their parent's religious beliefs and less likely to attend church services. They are at greater risk for early sexual behavior and pregnancy. They are much more likely to experience a divorce when they marry." As you can see, there are many long term effects that can last on the child when parents decide on a divorce. Sometimes there are circumstances where divorce is necessary; i.e. abuse in the home, endangerment of child, or abandonment of one of the parents. President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, "...I say without hesitation that this plague among us...is not of God." We have to be mindful and cautious if we make the decision of divorce that it is not for selfish reasons.

"Many people seem to believe that once marriage has gone 'bad,' it is like bruised fruit that cannot be restored, but instead needs to be thrown and new fruit bought." Marriage is not this way! I say this with full confidence. Majority of divorces can be stopped if the spouses involved are both willing to work at it. The efforts of one alone will not heal and rebuild the marriage. If both are not willing to fight for the marriage than it will be undone. Research has found little evidence that those who do end up getting a divorce, instead of trying to fix it, are able to rebuild a greater sense of well-being and happiness. "For most divorce is not a reliable path to improving one's well-being over time." The risk is too great for your own happiness. Fight for your marriages! Do not forget about all parties involved, especially the children!

As discussed, it is important to make necessary corrections for the overall well-being of parents and children. However, marriage should be taken seriously and is not just something that can easily be tossed away. Children can become resilient as a result of divorce but it is something that can be scaring as well if divorce ends badly between parents. Both parties have to work hard to remain together and work out their differences but it can be done! May we all try to seek to set aside our differences with our spouse for the betterment of strengthening families and breaking the norms of what everyone else views to be acceptable.