There are so many different aspects that go into a marriage. I think that is partially the reason why so many people stray away from it in this day and age. There are two different types of marriage. There are those who live a contractual marriage who just walk away when things get tough or they "fall out of love." In comparison. there are then those whom live a covenant marriage. Meaning, individuals covenant to one another and God that they will do all in their power to work things throughout eternity. Just think about this for a minute, which marriage would you rather be a part of?
As the The Family: A Proclamation to the Word states, "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God...husbands and wives have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other." I underline this portion because this is the part where most people lack. So many are caught up in being so selfish. They want things done their way or they feel as if they don't have enough freedom to do what they want because of the "ball and chain" marriage is perceived to be. "Research shows that personally dedicated couples show a greater priority for the relationship, feel greater satisfaction with giving, and are less likely to seek greener material pastures" (Hawkinds, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., Draper, T. W., 2012). As married couples become more dedicated to their marriage, they will be more committed to their relationship with the one that they love and have committed to when they said "I do."
The Lord declared, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." (Doctrine and Covenants 42:22) The words "none else" eliminate everyone and everything that do not pertain to your spouse. Absolutely nothing shall interfere with the importance of the relationship you are cultivating with your spouse. No money, politics, social life, nor anything else should take precedence over this relationship. By doing so, you will be able to see such a great change in your marriage. Those things that used to seem important to you will not be as important. Your spouse and greatest companion in life will be the highest priority to you. Your love for one another will enhance tenfold and will continually grow as you seek out the best interest for one another.
President Gordon B. Hinckley one of the past prophets in the LDS church stated, "I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage...Faultfinding replaces praise. When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles." This principle can be applied to many different aspects of our lives but the biggest begins with our spouse. It is vital to make sure that we are always striving to search for the good and NOT searching for faults. As we do so, we will only allow a wall to be placed up between our spouse and ourselves. I know that at times it may be hard and cannot always be perfect, but it is definitely worth the effort to strive towards.
Another point I would like to bring up is COMMUNICATION! This is SO important. I cannot stress it enough. I know that for myself and my own experiences, when I don't communicate well with my husband, things just start to fester. It goes along well with my last comment about looking for the good. As we lack to communicate, we start picking at our spouse and finding the bad to make them look more at fault for what they have done. If we had communicated in the first place we wouldn't have even been in that spot of misery and frustration with one another. I cannot stress it enough. Communication is what allows us to be more unified as one as we express how we feel with each other. Not only communication our own feelings but being a good listener and really hearing out what the other individual has to share as well. This shows a different level of respect and love for one another in doing so.
Throughout the years we can become so comfortable with one another that we may sometimes just feel like we live in the same roof. We need to find ways to cultivate our relationships and find new and interesting ways to rekindle our love for one another. Make sure to be intentional about your relationship with your spouse and not just stumble upon it and hope for the best. Your spouse will recognize the effort that you are both putting into your marriage and it will not go unnoticed.
In conclusion, I just want to leave you with this, "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever become tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." (Hawkinds, A. J., et al., 2012) As you can see, covenant marriages are just like this. I encourage all of us to reflect on these principles and hope that we can all strive to enhance our marriages with our dear spouse.
*If you are interested to hear more about the Proclamation on the Family please visit here: https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation
Hawkinds, A.J., Dollahite, D.C., Draper, T.W. (2012) Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives.
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