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I have a few things I would like to share today. In a world that is ever changing, there needs to be more commitment to marriage. I saw a saying the other day that said something along the lines of "if you are in a relationship, why stay in it if marriage isn't your end goal?" That got me really thinking. It is so true! There are too many families with parent that often are cohabitant or there are sky rocketing divorce rates. Why??!?! Why can't we just make commitments? If we are serious in being committed to a relationship when we are dating we should be even more so committed in getting married or committed after marriage.
After marriage begins there is just a plethora of different things that can destroy the bonds of matrimony. Infidelity is the number one cause of problems. You may be surprised as to what may fall under that category. It doesn't matter if you actually have had sexual relations with someone else while married. It can be as small as a thought or fantasizing. If you have these thoughts, eventually every little thing can lead to larger actions. Be careful! Lead your mind to something else if you are struggling with this. If you want to fight for your marriage you will rid yourself of these thoughts. Elder Richard G. Scott once stated, "Intimate acts are forbidden by the Lord...outside of marriage because they undermine His purposes...When experienced any other way, they are against His will. They cause serious emotional and spiritual harm." What a powerful statement Elder Scott has given us. I think some of the time when a spouse seeks attention elsewhere, they are not intending to do damage to their loved one. However, the effects are extremely harmful to the other. My advice, avoid it at all costs. This will allow you to rid any temptations in your life and the harm that can come from the separation of spouses that can lead to divorce and destroy the family that was once created.
Always be on guard. "Therapist and author Dr. Shirley Glass points out that infidelity is more about boundaries than anything else. She uses the analogy of walls and windows. In an extramarital affair, people put up walls in their own marriage and open the window to others outside the marriage. Instead, we must know how to put up appropriate walls to protect our marriages from outside influences and open the window of love and communication within our marriage (Hawkins, A. J., et al, 2012)" I couldn't have stated it any better myself. We have to make sure that we are always looking inward and focusing on what we have rather than looking outward and wondering what else is out there for us to enjoy momentarily.
At times it can be hard but you and your spouse need to work it out. Stick together the best you can. Forgiveness can be such a powerful tool. Now, I am aware that there are such circumstances where separation is the best option but more times than not when couples separate, it could have been an issue that could easily been dealt with.
Now I want to switch gears here. I would like to discuss how much there has been a paradigm shift in the equality of partners. We are equal!!!! Men are NOT greater than women nor women greater then men! Society has this twisted idea that one sex is greater. This is not what our Lord had intended for us. Yes, we do have different roles that we play. Yes, we are different but we all are striving to work together! We all have a job to fulfill here on earth. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught, "The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. all of Heavenly Father's children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the world." How beautiful is that?! We each have great individual worth. We all have potential to become something great but we must work together in our equality with our own families! There is absolutely no such thing as "man's work and women's work." In my own little family, my husband and I have a motto: "If there is a need, fill it." We always have each other's back and are continually looking out for each other. There is always room for improvement but as long as you have the goal in mind together, you are already half way there in accomplishing that goal.
I know that I have rambled off quite a few things. I do know that this is hard work and dedication. I do know this, we will be greatly blessed, our marriages will be strengthened, and our homes will be heaven on earth if we continually strive to do our absolute best in keeping our eye on that prize. Please comment if you have any questions or thoughts!
Hawkinds, A.J., Dollahite, D.C., Draper, T.W. (2012) Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives.
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