Mothers as Nurturers

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This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. As I am a Child Development major, this is of extreme importance to me. Children need their parents to nurture and care for them but especially to have their mothers be the primary nurturers. In our society, take a look around you. What do you see when it comes to mothers? They are out in the workforce working long hours shuffling their children off to daycare or the babysitter. They are missing out on so many opportunities with their children!! Their children will continually grow up and those mothers will never be able to get that missed time back. Now, I do understand that there are times where mothers do need to work based on various circumstances. However, they better be darn good reasons! Selfish desires of more money to do more things is absolutely just wrong.

A First Presidency statement in 1942 declared: "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels" (James R. Clark, 1935-1951, p. 178). How amazing is that? As women, we have this beautiful gift to raise and rear children in such a way that allows us close to divinity. If you don't think that is an absolutely amazing and important gift I don't know what else would be. "One of the primary ways mothers nurture growth and development is through helping create an environment of safety, peace, and learning. A central part of creating that environment is through organizing the home and family so that routines and rituals are carried out effectively" (Hawkins, A.J., et al, 2012). Children need routines. They depend upon it. There needs to be consistency in a child's life. If the parents are constantly switching things up in a child's life, the child is not going to be able to handle that very well. 

Showing children love is the number one rule. Children need to know that you care about them through both word and deed. "A mother's attentive love in this new relationship, between parent and child, becomes the foundation by which all of the other tasks of mothering become effective" (Hawkins, A.J., et al, 2012). Even if a child is being rebellious or deliberately not adhering to the rules or wishes of the parent, the child will need discipline and consequences. As long as there is a healthy relationship between mother and child, the child will know that these consequences and discipline are done out of love.

Motherhood is no easy task. I am not one myself but as I see those around me whom are, my hat goes off to you. It is something that can really stretch you daily but the reward is so much greater. "We have all seen the effect that stress and exhaustion can have on our parenting. We overreact. We are harsh. We fail to use good sense. We lose sight of the child's motives and needs. When we're not happy and balanced, our parenting suffers" (Goddard, 2011, n.p.). If you are having a rough day with your children, give yourself a "time out." Give yourself a chance to breath in a difficult situation and think about what you want to do next. Find out the reasons why your child behaved in such a way. Talk it out with them rather than jumping to conclusions because you are heated in the moment. Children are punished for their decisions but we as adults are never punished for what we do to our children if we do something wrong. We need to be careful that we don't slip down a slippery slope which could eventually lead to abuse in extreme cases. 

I know that others may view this as ridiculous and money can help for the betterment of the family but let me just say this, live within your means. Money cannot buy happiness. What matters most are those whom you love. If all of your possessions were taken away from you, what would you have left? Your family.

Hawkinds, A.J., Dollahite, D.C., Draper, T.W. (2012) Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives.