Understanding Abuse in Family Life

This is a cringe worthy topic in my mind yet this is definitely something that I feel is not addressed enough; the idea of abuse and how it can greatly impact the family and each individual. Abuse is not just physical, emotional or sexual maltreatment. It can also be of spiritual nature as well. It has been stated that it is "actions or attitudes that are intended to hurt or control. It can include many different types of behaviors, from subtle verbal criticisms to the severest forms of physical or sexual violence" (Hawkins, A.J. et. al., 2012). Abuse is always something that starts out small and then works its way into something bigger. 

We know that abuse is typically found in intimate partner relationships and abuse with parent to child. Let me talk again about children which is a subject that all of you know is near and dear to me. "The term child maltreatment encompasses child neglect and child abuse in their various forms. Estimating the prevalence of child maltreatment is complex due to not only to its multiple manifestations, but also because it is impossible to know how much maltreatment goes unreported. Worldwide, younger children tend to be more vulnerable to physical abuse, and pubescent and adolescent children are at relatively higher risk for sexual abuse" (Hawkins, A.J. et. al., 2012) It is so saddening that there are so many children that are maltreated in such repulsive ways. These children are innocent human beings that look to their leaders and those that they love for guidance and direction in order to be taught what is right. If children are being abused especially beginning at such a young age, what are they being taught? Children cannot report for themselves when they have been abused because they don't recognize it as being bad. They feel bad and ashamed because of it but typically it is someone close to them that abuses them. They will not stand up against someone they love! Studies have shown that those whom abuse others typically have been abused themselves as a child or adolescent. Children need more people to advocate for them and stand on their side when they have no one else that will. As members of society we need to become aware of our surroundings and report when something doesn't seem right. Get to know your neighbors and those that you associate with at work, school, and other functions. Children really NEED our help!!!!

The next type of abuse that I want to discuss is intimate partner violence. Let me share a statistic with you, "World Health Organization researchers found that women throughout the world suffer physical and sexual violence by intimate partners at rates usually between 29 and 62%. Much of this violence is severe and continuous" (Hawkins, A.J. et. al., 2012). I must say that I was shocked by those numbers. To think that there is so much violence out there is absolutely amazing to me. It makes me wonder if we choose that life or if that life has chosen us. As adults, we choose whom we love. You think you would get to know the person as much as you can before getting yourself into a sticky situation with abuse involved. I know that sometimes it comes out of nowhere but most of the time you can detect it beforehand. If you are in an abusive relationship, GET OUT! You are better than that! You are of great worth and if someone is going to treat you like a piece of dirt, it is not worth any ounce of time or energy. Find someone whom truly loves you and cares about you for who YOU ARE! Please get help if you feel stuck! I haven't had firsthand experience with abuse, but I can empathize with you. There was a woman age 26 that told us a clip of her story that I would like to share with you. "I was powerless. i felt trapped and I felt like I was paralyzed, I couldn't get out of it and I started struggling with moral issues and spiritual issues and feeling like I wanted to get out of it but honestly I was so terrified of the process and the aftermath of what that would mean...it was easier to just stay in that situation and deal with it than to make things worse by getting out" (Hawkins, A.J. et. al., 2012). I can't even imagine what this would feel like and I know the difficulty in trying to get out. It will make you a stronger person for yourself and especially for your family if any involved. 

I would like to end with this, "recovering from abuse is possible. The process of healing can be facilitated with help from mental health professionals as well as trusted family members, friends and ecclesiastical leaders...Not all who have suffered abuse need treatment. However, there are treatments that have been shown to be effective in reducing symptoms and improving well-being" (Hawkins, A.J. et. al., 2012). You are never alone. There is always someone around you that is more than willing to help you in all ways possible to make sure that family members are safe in all ways possible. Remember that. 



Hawkinds, A.J., Dollahite, D.C., Draper, T.W. (2012) Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives.